


Worn Thin

by seven_hrts



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Beaches, Embarrassment, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Romance, Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21924496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seven_hrts/pseuds/seven_hrts
Summary: Yuuri hasn't been in very good spirits at all. He's tired and aggravated, and doesn't want to spend any time with his coach, Victor. Victor wants to help Yuuri in any way he can.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	Worn Thin

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so so much for coming to read my oneshot! This is the first thing I've written in earnest in three years, and its short and sweet at around 5.7K words. It had been just a warm up to get me back into writing, but I liked how it turned out, and wanted to share it! Warning: there is really NO PLOT to this, but thats the point of oneshots, right?

Yuuri shifted under his covers, shoving his head into his pillows and willing sleep to take control again. He wasn't ready for another day of failure on the ice, and he most _definitely_ didn't want to leave the warm cocoon of blankets that he had constructed in the throes of his restless sleep last night. A yawn racked painfully through his chest and he gave in, turning his head and blinking his eyes slowly, eyeing the blurry motes of sunlight that were streaming from the gap between his curtains. 

Freeing his arm from the tangle of bed sheets and blankets, Yuuri reached behind him and felt around for his phone. Picking it up, he tugged it from its charging cable, brought it to his face and squinted at the time displayed on the screen. His stomach dropped when he registered that for some reason or another, his 6:30 AM alarm had not gone off, or had been missed entirely, and he had slept in for two and a half hours. He could just picture Victor's smug smirk in reaction to Yuuri's frenzy as he raced into the rink not minutes, but _hours_ late – _“Ah, you decided to sleep in! Quite late aren't we, Yuuri?”_ – and the way he would cock his head and chuckle at him as he stumbled gracelessly onto the ice, all the while smiling sweetly at him. Yuuri dreaded the thought.

Yuuri untangled himself hastily and scrambled out of bed and into some new clothes. His panicked mind started jumping to excuses he could use to explain his tardiness. Fatigue, maybe? It had possibly been what kept him in bed so long...

Yuuri was worn thin, and that was just the bottom line. Tired and aggravated were the two words that never failed to accurately describe him lately. His schedule was piled high with one on one practice sessions with his coach – newly his _official_ coach – Victor Nikiforov, who had waltzed into his life in the most annoyingly wondrous and perplexing way possible via YouTube and the family onsen.

The deep fatigue that Yuuri was experiencing was obvious, it seemed, because Victor, despite his emphasis on always being punctual and routine with practices, had begun giving him more time off from it. It didn't seem like a very smart, or Victor-like move – the preliminaries were coming up fast – but maybe he knew something that Yuuri didn't. That or he was greatly overestimating Yuuri's abilities. Either way, he was grateful for the days of rest. 

More often than not though, the days off practice turned into chances for Yuuri to sit in his room and pathetically sulk over himself. Victor was _in his life_ now, and Yuuri felt that no matter how hard he tried, he was falling dramatically short of his idol's expectations. Every flubbed jump, every botched element was a blow to Yuuri's self-esteem, and he felt like screaming at himself to get his shit together. 

At times, he ended up snapping and shouting at Victor, only to apologize profoundly directly afterward, and making a note to berate himself for it later. When this happened, Victor acted like he was walking on eggshells for the rest of the session, trying not to set Yuuri off again, or he called for a recess for both of them to take a breather. There were very few times that Yuuri's outbursts escalated to a back and forth fight between the two of them, and for that Yuuri was very grateful. 

Yuuri stuffed his phone and his water bottle into his bag and did a quick once over of the room, making sure he wasn't forgetting anything. He looked around once and then proceeded to dash out of the door. He passed Victor's room on the way down the hall, and as expected, it was empty. 

He barreled down the stairs, nearly trampling his sister in the process. She clutched an empty tray to her chest and pressed her back to the wall to give him some room. She looked at him, alarmed, as he shouted an apology to her. Yuuri glanced back to make sure she was okay, and nearly ran into somebody else. Large hands grabbed his shoulders to stop him on his collision course. Yuuri gasped and recoiled at the force of being stopped. A familiar voice let out a surprised laugh and Yuuri looked up. It was Victor, with an amused, but endearing smile on his face. 

Yuuri stammered, confused at why Victor was here. “I'm sorry I'm up so late. My... my alarm didn't go off and I um......” He took a breath, trying to calm his nerves and clear his mind. “Why aren't you at the rink?” He questioned, earning a twitch of Victor's lips, widening his smile. Instead of answering, he laughed and pulled Yuuri's head to his chest, his arms encircling him. Yuuri froze, brow furrowing and cheeks pinking.

“Is that what you were in such a hurry for?” Victor chuckled, moving one of his hands to smooth Yuuri's hair back. Yuuri nodded awkwardly against Victor's chest and he laughed again. “Sorry, I guess I should have left a note or something.” Victor said and let Yuuri stand up straight. He backed up a bit, recovering from the awkward position he and Victor had been in. “What do you mean?” He glanced at Victor. His cheeks were cooling down now. 

“I came into your room this morning and turned off your alarm. I thought you might want to sleep in.” Victor smiled. Yuuri's body locked up and he was so so very grateful he had taken down his extensive collection of Victor posters before something like this happened. Yuuri was a deer in the headlights standing there staring at Victor. _Did he snoop through my phone? Since when has Victor even known my passcode?_ His room might be clean of his fanboy obsession with Victor, but his phone most certainly was not. There were pictures of Victor in every digital nook and cranny of Yuuri's phone, and some of them Yuuri considered to be for his eyes only, even though they did come from publicized photoshoots. 

“Don't worry,” Victor chirped, making Yuuri snap out of his daze. “I didn't go snooping.”  
Victor had read his mind. Yuuri breathed a sigh of relief, and hoped it wasn't audible. “But,” Victor spoke. “I was quite intrigued with your home screen wallpaper,” _Shit_. Yuuri felt like he had been kicked in the stomach. His cheeks went pink again and his jaw tightened as he turned away from Victor, who was now chuckling. Yuuri's wallpaper was of Victor at a shoot about a year ago and much to Yuuri's embarrassment at the moment, featured him against red curtains in low waisted black slacks with the top half of the buttons on his black shirt undone and a red silk tie draped around his neck. Yuuri had barely changed his background to that photo less than two days ago and had gone to near drastic measures to keep anyone from seeing his home screen for those few days. 

Victor was laughing now, not just chuckling, and Yuuri stiffened. Of course he would be amused at this. He felt arms around him again and gasped. The tension in his body made him jump five feet at Victor's sudden movement. “Don't worry about it, Yuuri. I'm quite flattered you chose that picture. It's one that I like, too.” Yuuri rolled his eyes a bit at that. He squirmed to get away from the man behind him. He could feel eyes on them from everywhere in the room. 

“Victor, let me go please...” Yuuri whispered. Victor stopped laughing, it seemed like he finally caught onto Yuuri's seriousness. He let him go slowly and Yuuri took the first chance he could to speed walk back to the stairs. “Yuuri!” Victor called after him, “Hey, I'm sorry,” Yuuri didn't answer, just continued his trek up the creaking stairs, clutching the strap to his bag. _Today is gonna be one of those sulking days, I guess._

~~~  
_Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep--_ Victor awoke to the sound of his phone shrieking at him to get up. He groaned and rolled over to shut the alarm off, tapping at the 'Dismiss' icon on the screen. He rolled back over, having dealt with the beeping, and felt Makkachin stir by his side. Victor smiled and ran his fingers through the curly fur on top of her head affectionately. For a moment, a pang of want shot through his abdomen as he thought of Yuuri, and how nice it would be to wake up with _him_ stirring by his side. He shook that thought away quickly. _Yuuri doesn't want that right now._ He reminded himself. He had asked Yuuri about that a few times since he had been here and every time was dismissed immediately, much to Victor's disappointment. 

Victor yawned and rubbed his face with his hands. He swung his legs out of the bed and got up to begin getting ready for the day. He turned on the bedside lamp and began choosing clothes, sweatpants and a t-shirt. He slipped them on and let his mind wander to what he needed to do today. More specifically, what he needed to do for _Yuuri_ today. 

Yuuri was fatigued. That much was obvious. Victor knew that Yuuri gave everything he had to practice, and that was a very valid reason for him to be so tired lately, but there was something else too. Something like discontentment. It was no secret that Yuuri had lots of issues with his self-esteem, but up until the Onsen on Ice face-off, he seemed to be a lot more confident in himself. Since then, things had been going downhill, probably due to anxiety and fatigue. The preliminaries were fast approaching, but he shouldn't be too worried about those, should he? They were just a few minor competitions to get him into the lineup. But then again, Victor didn't know anything much about small competitions, and they were probably a huge thing for Yuuri. 

_How can I help him?_ Victor's brow furrowed as he thought. _He needs to know he's doing just fine. Am I not supporting him well enough?_ He looked at himself in the mirror and ran his fingers through his hair, attempting, in vain, to tame his bedhead. He sighed at both his appearance and his loss of what to do for Yuuri. He packed his bag for the day, grabbed his phone, patted Makka on the head, and left the room. He had to be at the rink before Yuuri today. Usually they traveled to and from the rink together, but today was different. Victor needed some more time alone to think about how to go forward in a more constructive manner. 

He stepped into the hallway, leaving his door cracked open so Makka had a means of escape when she woke up. Victor adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder and glanced down the hall at Yuuri's bedroom door. He wouldn't be up for another half an hour. Victor pouted at that a little, not because he wanted Yuuri to be up right now, but because, honestly, Yuuri needed more sleep than that. You don't overcome fatigue by getting up at ungodly hours of the morning. Maybe they could forgo the morning practice session and Yuuri _could_ sleep in. 

Before he realized it, his feet had led him down the hall and he was standing tentatively outside of Yuuri's room. Victor internally winced at himself, knowing that he really shouldn't be doing this. He pressed his ear to the door, making sure Yuuri wasn't already awake, and entered. A cool wave of air rushed out of the room at Victor, and it smelled like oranges and lavender, something that Victor didn't expect, entering this forbidden room. He hadn't ever been in here, as he kept being denied access by Yuuri, and looking around, it was fascinating. 

Even in the dark Victor could see dark spots on the walls where the wallpaper had been protected from fading where posters had probably hung for years, and thanks to Yuuri's mother and Mari, Victor knew that those posters had been posters of him. He just hadn't expected so many. Yuuri was a major fanboy, and Victor loved that about him. It was very flattering, to say the least. Around the room were other things such as a small desk with a laptop, a small shelf, a potted cactus, a lamp and papers scattered around it, a piano keyboard that rested in the corner of the room, and a closet at the far end of the room which was filled with clothes and boxes. Finally, there was the bed, which had light coral blankets and a mound in the center. Yuuri.

Yuuri was facing the center of the room, sleeping peacefully. Victor dared to get a little bit closer just to observe how calm Yuuri looked. He hadn't looked like that when he was awake ever since he had known Yuuri. There was always a twinge of nervousness or worry on his face. Well, that wasn't entirely true. During practice, Yuuri didn't look worried. During practice, the look on his face varied from frustrated to determined, victorious to defeated, focused to distracted, but almost never worried. Now, Yuuri's face only looked calm. Serene. He was beautiful. 

Long lashes fell against Yuuri’s cheeks as he slept, his soft hair was swept across his forehead, his skin was luminescent in the soft light coming from the doorway. His lips looked so soft, pink and slightly parted. Victor had a brief mental image of the awakening scene in Sleeping Beauty but shook it away. He was so close that he could feel Yuuri’s cool breath puffing out of his mouth softly and onto his face. Yuuri’s fingers poked out from amidst the folds of his blankets, and Victor tentatively ran his own fingers down the length of Yuuri’s, barely risking a wisp of a touch. Still, Yuuri’s hand reflexively curled up at the slight tickle, and retreated into the blankets. Victor looked back at Yuuri’s face, making sure he wasn’t stirring.

After a bit, Victor realized he was staring and shook himself from it. _Why am I in here again? To tell Yuuri that the morning practice session is canceled?_ Victor scratched the back of his head for a second while he thought. _No, not to tell him,_ He remembered, _but to let him sleep in today. The only way to do that,_ Victor guessed, _would be to not let his alarm go off._ He reached over to Yuuri's phone, resting beside his head, and unplugged it, picking it up. The screen flashed on and Victor typed in Yuuri's passcode. He had seen him put it in lots of times, not because he was trying to see, but just because Yuuri didn't really hide it. 

Victor was greeted by a very familiar face as the phone unlocked to the home screen. His own. Victor stifled a surprised laugh. Yuuri had good taste at least. Victor didn't like a lot of his photoshoot pictures, but this one was one he did happen to like – he loved expressing his own sense of style for photoshoots, and was allowed to pick out an outfit for himself, of a plethora that they had provided, of course, and they arranged the scene based around that – this particular shoot had been a more pleasant experience for him, not to mention he ended up looking stunning. He looked down at Yuuri, still smiling, wondering what he actually thought of Victor. Yuuri got more intriguing by the day. He was a puzzle, but Victor felt that slowly, he could learn to put him together.

It wasn't hard to find the clock app, and once he was there, he flicked the switch off for Yuuri's morning alarm. Plugging the phone back in, he switched off the screen and set it next to Yuuri again. A fond smile was still present on Victor's lips as he took another glance at him. His hand brushed Yuuri's bangs from his forehead, and Victor felt his own face heat up. That wasn't a conscious action...he had acted on... what was that? Instinct? _No matter._ He straightened up and removed his hand from Yuuri's head, casting one more fond look at him before he left the room. 

He walked back to his own room. There wasn't a need to be up so early for him anymore either. Victor could use the extra sleep as well, to be honest. He took off his shirt and laid down next to Makka again, settling in to sleep for at least another hour.

~~~

The first thing Yuuri did when he got to his room was change his phone's background and his passcode. After that he mostly just sat on his bed scrolling through his Twitter feed or watching YouTube. When he next checked the time though, only an hour had passed. He rolled his eyes and flopped backward onto his bed. Doing nothing took up a whole lot more time when you didn't have anything on your mind. 

A knock sounded at Yuuri's door and he sat up, startled. “Yuuri?” Victor called from the other side. “Can we talk, please?” 

Yuuri closed his eyes and sighed, still not wanting to face Victor. The embarrassment he experienced downstairs today was enough to make him want to hide in a corner for the rest of his life, never having to see Victor, or anybody else ever again. 

Another knock. “Yuuri? Please?” Victor's tone sounded far from amused or teasing right now, and Yuuri gave in, reluctantly. He rose from his bed and walked to the door, taking a deep breath before he opened it. The door swung open to reveal Victor standing in the hallway. Yuuri looked at him and Victor smiled. “Can I come in?” Victor asked. Yuuri shuffled his feet for a few seconds in hesitation - he had never let Victor in here - before nodding slowly and stepping aside to let him pass. 

Yuuri took a seat on the edge of his bed and Victor joined him, sitting down beside him, nearly too close for comfort. “I brought these,” Victor said, holding out what looked to be a pastry box, and it was strange Yuuri hadn't noticed it before. Victor opened the box and inside were two custard buns, presumably one for each of them. 

“That's not exactly what a figure skater should be eating,” Yuuri mumbled, loud enough for  
Victor to hear. Victor laughed beside him. “It's not exactly bad for you if you only have one.” He said. “Plus, I know you haven't eaten today.”

He glanced sideways at Victor before reaching into the box and taking one. “You didn't have to get these.” He said, waiting for Victor to take the second bun before taking a bite. Yuuri didn't really eat food like this anymore. He wasn’t allowed to. He had been on a diet for so long that this tasted way too good.

“I did,” said Victor, taking the first bite of his. A few moments went by while he chewed and swallowed before he spoke again. “I needed to apologize. I shouldn't have invaded your privacy like that, even if I was trying to help.” Yuuri took another bite, thinking that over. Victor had said that he had only changed Yuuri's alarm to let him sleep in. He guessed he had overlooked that in his panic over the wallpaper and his relief at the absence of the posters. 

“It's not just about the phone...” Yuuri said quietly, realizing that for himself as well. Victor looked up at him. Yuuri quickly took another bite of the bun to avoid talking long enough to gather some of his thoughts. He chewed slowly, and Victor waited patiently for him to speak. He finally swallowed and took a breath, clearing his throat. “I guess it's just that I already feel like I embarrass myself in front of you every day at practice, and today with the phone was just another thing for you to look down on me for,” The sentence fell out far more gracefully than Yuuri thought it would. He looked down and away from Victor. He made no response, so Yuuri took the chance to speak again. “I feel like no matter what I do, I'm always falling short of your expectations of me. What happened this morning wouldn't have even happened if I was... better.”

Victor's hand came to rest on Yuuri's knee, and Yuuri turned to look at him. “You don't fall short, Yuuri.” At that, Yuuri looked away again in doubt. Victor sighed and this time, his hand took Yuuri's chin gently, turning their faces toward each other. Victor's eyes were kind, but dark and honest – a midnight sky full of stars. “I have very high standards, Yuuri, and you go above and beyond, anyways.” Victor's thumb caressed Yuuri's jawline as they looked at one another. Yuuri's face was already ablaze at having been taken by the chin like that, but that small, smooth motion of Victor's thumb made his temperature rise higher. “Do you understand that?” Asked Victor, cocking his head slightly. Was Yuuri hallucinating or did he get closer as well?

“I...” Yuuri's eyes flicked away from the contact with Victor's as he stuttered. “I... don't know, Victor...” He eventually said, making Victor frown slightly. 

“Yuuri,” Victor said, tilting Yuuri's chin up with his fingers again. “I'm telling you directly.  
How can you not believe it coming from me?” He sighed. “Do you not trust me?” 

“That's not it at all.” Yuuri replied quietly, still locked on Victor's eyes. 

“Then do you not trust my judgment?” Victor asked. 

“No, I... do.” Yuuri responded.

“Then why on Earth do you doubt yourself?” The words came out of Victor's mouth with a quiet laugh, a small breathy sound from the back of Victor’s throat. Victor set his bun back into the box so both hands were free and reached up. Now both hands were cupping Yuuri's face. Yuuri's heart skipped a beat, and he gasped quietly and involuntarily at the unexpected sensation. Victor was staring into Yuuri's eyes fondly, all the dark gone from them, and now they looked like a summer stream.

“How can I help you with your confidence, Yuuri?” He asked. “With your self-esteem?” 

Yuuri sat there stupidly, not knowing how to respond to that. Victor's head fell slightly to the side again as he awaited an answer. His platinum hair fell gracefully across his forehead and nose. Several more moments went by without Yuuri's response. Finally, Victor spoke again. “You don't know?” Victor guessed, hitting the nail on the head. Yuuri shook his head once, not knowing how else to respond, or what else to say. “I guess it is a very broad question, isn't it?” Victor smiled small and bright. 

“I'll find some way to help. Don't worry.” Victor brushed some hair from Yuuri's forehead gently. Yuuri nodded, meeting Victor's eyes for only a second before looking down again.  
He was very close. 

“Can we go for a walk?” Yuuri blurted, surprised by his own sudden noise. Victor seemed surprised for a moment before his face lit up with a beautiful smile as if Yuuri had just told him some amazing news. The way he was beaming was so pure that Yuuri could almost feel his heart melting.

“Of course we can, Yuuri,” He laughed quietly and pulled Yuuri into a hug. Victor had hugged Yuuri two times today and neither of them had been pleasant on the latter's end, but this one was amazing, and warm and soft, and Yuuri nearly wanted to say “Never mind!” about the walk and just lay down right here to preserve this warmth. He felt around for the pastry box and put his bun back as well to free his hands. Yuuri reached around Victor and embraced him. The crazy thing was that, in all the casual hugs that Victor had ever given to Yuuri, Yuuri hadn't ever returned the gesture, so that made this a first for both of them.

~~~

The salty, fresh ocean breeze pushed Victor’s bangs out of his eyes as he and Yuuri walked along the water's edge. Yuuri was gazing across the bay at the boats drifting on the surface, and likewise, Victor was gazing across the gap that separated the two of them at Yuuri. It seemed they both had something that had piqued their interest for the moment, although Yuuri had been the subject of Victor's interest since they had left the inn.

Their walk to the beach had been quiet and slow, and both of them had been content to keep the air between them quiet since arriving as well, aside from some short comments over small shells that they found, or about the gray clouds that were gathering in the distance. When they had arrived, their shoes were taken off and put into a sling bag that Victor had brought along. They zigzagged lazily down the beach, barefoot, once or twice pausing to roll up their pant legs and wade out into the water. The spring weather was still chilly at times, but today was a warmer day, and the sun shone down on their backs as they walked. They had brought Makka along, and she was having a grand time splashing through the small foamy waves that were lapping up onto the shore and she delighted in getting her two human chaperons wet and sandy.

They had been to the beach before, but not like this. Sometimes they came to the beach to train, sometimes they came to sit down and talk about things, but never just to walk, and Victor found it interesting just how much you could learn about somebody without talking to them. Just on this walk he had learned things like when Yuuri was walking without a purpose he would link his hands behind his back, when he had nothing to look at, he either watched the water or the sky, and when they would stop for a few seconds, he would absentmindedly draw little patterns in the sand with his toes. Victor had been watching Yuuri this entire time and at times he had to reach up and massage his cheeks because he realized he had been smiling constantly and a little too hard. It was a good thing Yuuri hadn't been looking back at Victor all that often, or he would have been caught grinning like an idiot more than once. 

This walk was exactly what was needed to lift Yuuri’s spirits, it seemed, and although he wasn’t smiling or talking, Victor noticed that the worry that seemed ever present on his face hadn’t been there since they had arrived. His expression was one much like the expression that Victor had seen while Yuuri was sleeping, but this time, Yuuri was awake, and could look at Victor without the apology in his eyes that he always carried with him. Victor saw something of himself in Yuuri. They both found peace and happiness in the ocean. What a wonderful thing to have in common.

Yuuri's gaze shifted to something down the beach from where they were, and he looked back at Victor for a split second before he took off running towards it. Victor might have been crazy, but there seemed to be a competitive gleam in Yuuri's eyes as he looked back. Victor's lips twitched up into a smile again as Yuuri looked back from running down the beach. He took that as a challenge and ran full speed to try to pass him. Running in sand barefoot definitely wasn't an everyday activity, and Yuuri's stamina paid off in this event as well. Yuuri had slowed down for Victor. Not acceptable. 

Whatever Yuuri was running towards, it was quite a way down the beach. Victor caught up with Yuuri quickly and they ran side by side along the water, splashing through the shallows now and again, getting wet and laughing. Makkachin ran behind them, barking happily. 

Victor fell behind about a minute and a half into the run. He did catch up again once but couldn't match Yuuri's speed for long. Yuuri ran and ran; it was like watching an angel ready to take off into the sky on invisible wings. The way he was running suggested that Yuuri may come to the beach to do this for _fun_ , heaven forbid. Yuuri eventually stopped by a tree and a concrete stairway, his obvious destination from the beginning, but Victor hadn't been looking for it. Makkachin bounded to Yuuri and jumped on him, dropping her dirty paws on his shoulders, and Victor watched as she knocked Yuuri off balance, and Yuuri fell into the sand, laughing. 

Victor started laughing too, but he was now out of breath, and the laughing spell was shortlived. Victor's limbs burned as he finished treading the stretch of sand between him and Yuuri. He was out of competition shape, that was for sure. He could imagine Yakov yelling at him for not even being able to run down a beach without being winded - _"You think this is acceptable?! You have to be competing in less than three weeks, and you can't even run??"_ Victor knew that this scenario would end with a day long workout and a half promise to get into shape. Victor smiled to himself, thinking of Yakov, even as a dagger of homesickness pierced him.

He lifted his knees higher now as he ran, urging himself toward Yuuri faster. Yuuri was now sitting with his arms around his knees in the cool shade of the big tree, leaning against the trunk. Victor finally approached and could have probably collapsed there in the sand with him, but instead, he decided to exercise the bit of control he had left of his muscles, and gently ease himself down next to Yuuri instead. 

Yuuri was beaming at Victor in the pride of having won the race by such a whopping margin. His hair was messy, and he now had big doggy footprints on the shoulders of his plaid over shirt and the doggy herself sprawled out over his lap. Victor sat there trying to catch his breath and beamed as well. Victor couldn't remember the last time he saw Yuuri smile, and another pain went through his chest at that realization. That meant Yuuri had been feeling awful for a lot longer than Victor realized before. 

“What's wrong?” Yuuri's soft voice cut off Victor's train of thought, and when Victor looked back at him, Yuuri's smile had faded. Victor guessed his own had too. 

“I was just thinking that I can't remember the last time you've smiled like that, or at all.”  
Victor said frankly, shrugging slightly with his lips, smiling softly again and watching Yuuri.  
Yuuri looked down at his lap, a thoughtful look coming over his face, as he played with Makka's fur. She pushed her head up into his hand, demanding more attention than what he was giving her.

“I guess I can't either.” Yuuri finally said, not looking back up at Victor, but instead glancing back at the water, which was now an entire shore away after their race. “I must have seemed pretty rude these last few weeks, huh?” Yuuri smiled sadly down at his lap again. 

Victor's eyes widened a bit. “Oh, no. No, no, no! You haven't. That's not what I was trying to say.” He sputtered immediately, waving his hands in front of him. He didn’t want to make Yuuri feel that he did anything wrong. “I guess I just realized that you've been feeling down for a lot longer than I thought.” 

Yuuri nodded gently. “It's been a while. Since before Onsen on Ice, I guess.” 

_Before_ Onsen on Ice? Victor felt like kicking himself for being ignorant for that long. He could have helped Yuuri so much in that time. He might have even been able to keep him from feeling that way at all. He knew something had changed since the face-off, but he had no idea that it had been happening before. 

“It's not your fault,” Yuuri's voice cut into Victor's thoughts again, interrupting the newest incoming negativity. “I've always had problems with anxiety. I've had to take medicine for it before, so it's... so it's nothing new.” Yuuri looked away. “Sorry, I know we already talked about this back at the house. No need to bring it up again.” He looked back at Victor.

“Unless you want to talk about it. If you need to, or want to, I'm right here. I'll listen.” Victor laid his hand between Yuuri's shoulder blades, reassuringly.

Their eyes met and Victor caught a glimpse of the same light that had been in Yuuri's eyes at the Banquet where they met, where all of this had started. It made his breath hitch in his throat and his stomach do a flip. He had seen this light several times since coming to Hasetsu, but this time was the closest it had ever been to that moment Yuuri asked him to be his coach. He had wanted to kiss Yuuri so badly that night – like in one of those fairy tales where the prince and the princess fall in love all in one night and get married the next – but Victor knew that that wasn't a fairy tale, and neither was this. But maybe someday it could be.

“Thanks, Victor,” Yuuri said softly, a gentle smile shyly creeping back onto his face like the small waves pushing onto the shore that they had waded through earlier, or the sun peaking through the clouds on a rainy day. “But I don't really want to bring that back today. It's turned into a good day and I don't want to ruin it.” Yuuri leaned further into Victor's touch until his head was resting on Victor's shoulder. Another stomach flip.

“Alright.” Victor replied simply, sidling his arm down and around Yuuri, trying not to pay attention to the palpitations of his heart. They watched the ocean for a while in satisfied silence, closer now than they had ever been since Victor's move to Hasetsu.

It was _lovely_ , to say the very least of it.


End file.
